We all desire and aspire to love and be loved in equal measure, especially when we decide to enter into a loving relationship. Have you ever wondered what love truly is? Or whether you have the capacity to love another person? And if so, have you ever asked yourself how we are meant to love, or what it means to love correctly? The truth is that these questions cannot be answered without first understanding the source of all love.
The world tells us that love is merely an emotion; one that we can control at will. It often teaches us that love is found in other people; in the perfect and ideal partner. It says that love is limited, conditional, and changeable. That it can run out, especially when disagreements, differences, or boring moments arise between couples. According to the world, love is found only in what makes us happy and provides pleasurable experiences. By that logic, when something we love no longer makes us happy, it becomes a torment, so we can simply replace it when it stops working. We have even been taught that it is acceptable to reject and close ourselves off from love when we fail to find it. Today, love is often defined and presented as whatever society considers acceptable, enjoyable, and personally fulfilling.
However, 1 John 4:16 declares that God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in them. Therefore, God is the source of all love because love is part of His very nature. He created it and is the reason we are able to love, for He loved us first and designed us to love.
Likewise, 1 John 4:7 reminds us that we should love one another because love comes from God. He does not ask us to do something we are incapable of accomplishing. Therefore, we are not only called to love; we are equipped to love, because it is a commandment. Now, if God is the source of all love and calls us to love as He has enabled us to do, what is love truly?
As we mentioned before, people, society, and the world offer many definitions and interpretations of what love is or should be. But God has already established His definition, and because He is love and its Designer, we must know and apply His definition.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, God explicitly defines love, saying that love is patient and kind; it does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud. It does not behave improperly, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs; Love does not delight in injustice but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Therefore, God’s love calls us to live in a way that prioritizes the well-being of our spouse above our own ego, to act with patience and kindness, to learn to forgive, to pursue what is just and true, and to remain steadfast even through hardship.
As you can see, His definition of love is complete and comprehensive. It covers every circumstance in our lives so that we can apply His love in every moment —whether good or difficult— that we experience together. However, loving according to this definition can be impossible for someone who does not have God in their heart. In other words, to love truly and correctly, we need Him in our lives, because without Him it is impossible to love as He designed us to love. Therefore, if we desire a prosperous and lasting marriage, we must first know Him and then learn to live out the love He teaches rather than the love the world offers.
We believe that the first step toward beginning a relationship in the presence of God is to know the Designer and understand the love He designed, because this is the love that is compatible and intentioned for marriage. Without this love, nor the Source from which it flows, you will not be able to love your spouse properly, and your union in Christ will not flourish. That is why none of the marital tools or values we will share with you will ever be more important than love.
A strong marriage is not the one that never fails, but rather the one that continually returns to the source of love. When we remain connected to God, His love transforms us and gives us the strength to love our spouse when loving feels difficult, when we become impatient, or when forgiveness seems hard. Yet God’s love is not born from human effort; it flows from His divine grace and from a relationship with Him. Only with God will you be equipped to face —with love— any challenge, difficulty, doubt, or insecurity that may arise in your marriage.
Through His love, you will become patient, kind, humble, just, and persevering spouses. When two people unite and remain in God’s love, they can learn to love by placing their spouse’s well-being above their own, forgiving, enduring, believing, and hoping even in difficult times. In this way, marriage is not sustained by changing emotions, but by a character transformed by God, making His love both the foundation upon which marriage begins and the strength that carries it to the end.
You should understand that marriage is not about finding a perfect and ideal partner. Marriage is about finding the person with whom you choose to build, cultivate, and love every day, just as Jesus loved His church. Therefore, love is not merely a feeling. Love is a decision that you must consciously make as a married couple every day of your lives, because it is a commitment to God and to the person you have chosen to love daily as your spouse. The importance of this command is so great that among faith, hope, and love, the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13.
Today, we invite you to know and surrender yourselves to God, and reflect more deeply on one of His greatest gifts— His love.